Mike: You miss the pain?
Rob: …Yeah. For the same reason you miss her… because you lived with it for so long.
--Swingers
I am in agony. Watching Raptor fans bask in the unfamiliar glow of praise from the basketball world for the team’s miraculous turnaround has shoved me into a cold, dark place. Not because I moved away from Toronto as this dramatic change of fortune began, but because of the success itself: it will end. Badly.
Raptor history has been authored by tragic figures such as Babcock, Araujo, Huffman, Yogi, Master P. And if I conveniently shed these painful memories for flittering recent triumphs, I will be crushed when dark days inevitably return. Only this time, the pain will be compounded by my naiveté for believing the Raptors could outrun their past. I can’t let this happen. I can’t let myself enjoy this. It will kill me.
The recent turnaround orchestrated by Bryan Colangelo itself has been reckless, and done with complete disregard for the health of longstanding fans. It is irresponsible for any GM to endanger its supporters by forcing them to adjust their expectations so suddenly and completely, particularly a group that is accustomed to praying to avoid embarrassment, rather than cheering for victory. As the Raptors rapidly ascended the Atlantic Division this season, and my pre-game thoughts shifted rapidly from “please keep him under 80 points” to “they should win this”, I suffered a personal version of the bends.
I now follow the path prescribed by 19th philosopher Søren Kierkegaard, and accept that life as a Raptor fan is absurd and doomed. I refuse to take a leap of faith otherwise. As co-author of the 50 Dubious Raptor Moments, I know this only too well. So when an interviewer from Slam Magazine asked if I would take back 27 of these Dubious Moments to make the Raptors a better team, I enlightened the scribe that I have 27 others ready to take their place; dubiousity is part of Raptor DNA. Or maybe, after 12 painful years as a Raptor fan, it is part of my mine.
Go Nets.
Dude. Great to have (one of you) back. Don't know what time in the day you posted this, but that series is beginning to look like a top 10 dubiosity moment...
Posted by: Don Paco | April 21, 2007 at 04:52 PM
Good to have you back. I was missing your fine tragic comedies.
As for Dubious moments, Chuck and his red shirts are begging to be mentioned. just begging for it. Don't let him down.
Posted by: Michael Fancy | April 24, 2007 at 07:57 AM
Screw the Nets!
Posted by: | April 25, 2007 at 10:21 AM
glad to see you working you lazy bastard! I can't believe I still check up on your page, sighing wistfully as the same page loads...for two months!!! (yara yara get a life bla bla) LOL
If the Raps win this series, the curse of years past will be lifted and we'll be given a clean slate...should we loose we remain stuck in each shit-sucking step. If you can't believe you gotta at least hope! I'm telling you, and Crowfoot's little incantation is on the money on that. Good to see you back...PS The dude that injured Garbo intentionally slammed him to the floor...see the shirt pulling and how he shifts his weight onto Garbo...it's very clear if you pause the clip and view it stop-motion like...BELIEVE! (or are the legal drugs getting you paranoid!)
Posted by: arsenal | April 27, 2007 at 03:56 PM