Raptorphernalia: Washington Wizards

When Brenda Haywood ripped two dreadlocks from Dylan Thomas' head, The Blue Baller's comedic-irony senses chimed doubly.  First, "the roots" of dreadlocks lie as a religious symbol, an expression of inner spirituality.  Second, the first time either of these two pussies finally decided to physically exert themselves against another basketball player, it was with a teammate in a locker room.

So the next time the Wizards visit the ACC, deflate the freethrow-distracting purple balloons and lively up yourself with a pair of The Flagrancy's new Caribana-themed Etan Thomas dreads.

Blessed.