November 1995: BJ Tyler retires after ice pack injury
The best part about this list is that the higher it goes, the easier it gets to write. And with BJ Tyler, this shit writes itself.
“He’s a north-south burner who can really get up and down the court...I think he’s matured and learned about working hard to prepare for a game.”
- Brendan Malone, on BJ Tyler
Once upon a time, there was a lightening quick point guard named BJ Tyler. The Toronto Raptors selected Tyler in the expansion draft, and signed the ex-Sixer to a 5-year $6M contract to be the teams backup point guard—an insurance policy if something should happen to Damon Stoudamire. But come one fateful day in a Raptor trainers room, Isiah Thomas would be the one left scrambling to find an insurance policy for BJ Tyler.
See, the north-south burner was preparing so hard for a game (and no doubt the upcoming Canadian winter) that he decided to cool-down using an ice pack. Only problem was that Tyler fell asleep, and the ice pack froze his ankle—causing permanent nerve damage. The Raptors were then forced to begin their inaugural season without a backup point guard (no offence Vinnie), and BJ Tyler was forced to retire.
The following season, the Raptor training staff introduced the 'Meatlocker Rule' as a preventative measure. Whenever a player began to yawn and nod off, they were teabagged by Chuck Mooney.
WOW...speechless...that's dubious alright...shiiiiiiiiit.
Posted by: arsenal | October 18, 2006 at 03:00 PM
the list just gets more and more embarrassing.. you're serving the purpose well.
imagine getting teabagged by Jack Armstrong. Nodding off, you open your eyes, have some balls creeping to your face, and a beautiful "HELLO!" is said.
....yum
Posted by: rachello | October 18, 2006 at 04:13 PM