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To celebrate the return of Ron Artest to Toronto, and to the NBA, The Flagrancy has partnered with Molson Canada to create a limited edition line of commemorative beer cups. The Molson Artest-edition cup boasts a sleek aerodynamic design, stabilizing base weight, and a textured rubber coating for grip.
Limited Edition Molson Artest Beer Cup
Next Game:
Washington Wizards, February 1, 7:00pm.
While the decision to fire Toronto Raptor General Manager Rob Babcock may be welcome news to many of the team’s fans, it has caused outrage among other General Managers throughout the NBA. In fact, so many oppose the decision, that they have organized an effort to convince the Raptor brass to reverse their decision.
Billy Hunter, the GM of the Philadelphia Sixers who picked after Babcock in the 2004 Draft, is leading the charge. “They (the Raptors) are very short-sighted. Sure, they have their plan to contend for a Championship, but so does everyone else. And everyone I talk to has a Rob Babcock trade in that plan.”
Hunter is currently circulating a petition to his fellow GMs to show their support for the rehiring of Rob Babcock. The first signature on the petition belonged to New Jersey Nets GM Rod Thorn, who, like Babcock, was surprised by the decision when contacted by The Flagrancy: “Fuck! Are you serious? Wait—any chance they’ll let him finish out the day? I’ve got to call him right now… Joanie, fetch me a printout of the goddamn Raptor roster!”
By Friday Hunter expects to have 28 signatures, with only Houston Rockets GM Carroll Dawson and interim Raptor GM Wayne Embry abstaining.
You smug Bulls fans make me sick. Flaunting your 6 NBA Titles, talking incessantly of your "talented young nucleus”, reminding Raptor fans daily of how you fleeced us in the Roger Mason Jr.-Rick Brunson trade. Well allow The Flagrancy to remind you of a little Chicago Bulls history: On June 27th, 2001 Jerry Krause traded Elton Brand for the rights to Tyson Chandler. Today, Brand is averaging 25 points and is the mid-season MVP. Chandler is averaging 4 points and is having trouble breathing.
Sign: Double-Side-Bulls-Chide
Next Game:
Sacramento Kings, January 29, 7:00pm.
Hola, me Dos. Me hate Los Knicks. Me hate Los Knicks so much me prepare el blog with insult for each player on Knicks plus bonus insult for coach, management and number one super-fan Spike Lee. Me start now.
Jackie Butler, do not take Dos personally. Me don't even know you. When me see your name on Knick roster, me say "Who?" But you have Knick written on your shirt so me hate you. Have fun playing in Latvia next year. HA HA HA
Malik Rose shoots 35% from field. Can internet funny-man like Dos start talking about Malik Rose line yet? Such as "With that last brick Quentin Richardson dropped below the Malik Rose line."
Maurice Taylor, you are like syphillis. Remember when you turn down $18 million from Raptors? Now all of Toronto thank you for your stupidity. We feel like guy who finds out hot girl who turned him down has syphillis. Except syphillis has cure. You always be stupid. HA HA HA
Penny Hardaway, you luckiest man in world. Isiah Thomas tell you to go away. Many GMs should be offering you lots of money in off-season. If Isiah tell you to go away, you must be awesome! HA HA HA
Me never knew Li'l Penny's real name was Nate Robinson. HA HA HA
Qyntel Woods kind of guy who enjoy watching dogs tear flesh off each other. Me think Qyntel Woods really like game on Sunday when he have front row seat to see El Carnicera rip entrails out of Channing Frye. Then Qyntel Woods wet his little sissy pants when he realize he must go in game. Me think Qyntel Woods should have tried chicken-fighting instead.
Jamal Crawford somehow get 3 assists per game. It must count offensive put-backs on missed shots as assists.
Antonio Davis is veteran of many basketball wars. Like most war veterans he have no hands left. But me still respect man for keep playing with stumps.
Él que paró is hero of Trevor Ariza. Trevor Ariza no like being criticized so he quit too. Also, he is pussy. If Dos coach of Los Knicks me walk up to Trevor Ariza. Me be casual like, "Hola Trevor." Then me poke him right in eye and then me give him arm-bar take-down. But me not old neurotic genius teacher coach so maybe method of Dos do not work. Me not question genius behind 12-21 record.
David Lee is one thing short of being interesting. That one thing? Adding Roth to end of name.
Quentin Richardson used to be fun young guy on Clipper team that sucked. Now he broken down old guy on Knick team that sucks. Moral of story: Quentin Richardson always sucks. Other moral: Knicks suck.
Spike Lee make great movie, Malcolm X, in 1992. Then he buy season tickets to Knick games. Since then: Sucklyn, Summer of Crap, He Got Lame, Crudboozled, She Hate Me. See? Everyone associated with Knicks sucks. Like touch of King Midas except suck not gold. Spike Lee? Me hate he. HA HA HA
Isiah Thomas has great ability. Isiah very good at recognizing talent. Just look at many Isiah draft picks. Unfortunately Isiah cannot recognize his own talent. He think himself good GM. Take advice from Dos. Stick to scouting. Grow pompadour. Become Mel Kiper Jr of NBA.
Jerome James remind me of Magic Johnson -- a fat, out-of-shape millionaire that want to kiss Isiah Thomas every time he see him. HA HA HA
People think Channing Frye greatest thing since invention of burrito. He average 14 points and 6 rebounds per game. Big deal. El Calvo Charlie Villanueva average 13 points and 5 rebounds and he not even start games like big fancy Channing Frye. If El Calvo play in New York, press might choke on own dicks.
Me hear funny joke today...
Q: What look like giant beanbag chair and have cornrows?
A: Eddy Curry
HA HA HA
It funnier in Spanish.
RAAAAAH!!! Me hate Larry Brown. Me have mucho hate. People think he genius. He so good blah blah blah. Oh, genius Larry Brown such good teacher. blah blah blah. If me ever meet genius Larry Brown me would say, "Me teach you many things genius Larry Brown. Me teach you hurt. Me teach you pain. Me teach you how to go to bathroom too." Then me laugh as me remember how my Latino brothers from Puerto Rico and Argentina beat Larry Brown genius dream team in Olympics. HA HA HA. Then me punch genius Larry Brown right in the kidney to make me laugh harder HA HA HA HA HA HA. Then genius Larry Brown cry and look for new job. Me hear there is job available with Washington Generals. That truly genius Larry Brown dream job -- he lose all year-long, always play in different arena, and complain about his players plus Globetrotters always keep bucket around for genius Larry Brown to pee into.
Stephon Marbury best point guard in NBA. Si, and Dos is professor of literature at Harvard. HA HA HA get it? Me no speak English good. Stephon Marbury claim he buy into genius Larry Brown game-plan. He now pass-first point guard. How come assists of Stephon Marbury go down much more this year than points? Is this deep philisophical question to echo through the ages? NO! It because Stephon Marbury still me-first team-killer! Maybe if genius Larry Brown really smart he sit Stephon Me-bury and make him watch Senor Jose Calderon play on Sunday. If Stephon Marbury complain about not playing then genius Larry Brown play dumb and say, "Whoops! Me think you are Steve Francis."
Okay, me hit save.
No, not that paraphernalia.
Starting today, The Flagrancy will be creating various items to help Raptor fans support their team for each upcoming home game. These items may range from t-shirts and signs, to voodoo dolls and Pygmie blow darts—anything to make the ACC crowd a true 6th man!
Next Home Game:
New York Knicks, Sunday January 15th, 1:00pm
Spike Lee Sign:
Upcoming Home Game:
Chicago Bulls, January 25, 7:00pm
You may have been wondering where I, Uno of Los Ballers Azul -- The Greatest Masked Mexican Basketballers of All-Time, have been for the past couple of weeks while Los Raptors were enjoying their best streak of winning in many years. I must admit my heart was torn to not be providing you loyal fans with my musings in el blog but I have a higher calling than even Los Raptors. When Najera calls, you must answer...
Si, I am giving back to mi México querido by helping recruit players for the national team. After St.Eduardo and Earl La Perla join, I fully expect to be named head coach. I can't wait to match wits with Leo Rautins on the court of battle. He may have better hair but I am much smarter and more handsome. I love my adopted home country of Canada I will honour you by showing mercy and only allowing a 30-point victory for Mexico.
Another reason for my silence was purely a superstitious one. After my post about certain victory over Los Pistons (Strangely, Los Raptors lost even though they clearly are a better team) Los Raptors went on their streak. I decided that if I posted I might jinx the team. My silence would help Los Raptors for once. Even after El Oculto Steve Javie rigged Sunday's game... the horrific nightmare of a game... against Los Raptors I kept my silence in hopes that Los Raptors would find their way on their own. Now after another loss and another nay-saying column by El Diablo Blanco I must free my voice.
I'll start with you El Diablo Blanco. You blame over-impassioned play of Los Raptors for costing them the game versus Los Nets and Él que paró. It was this passion that made the game what it was -- a classic (despite the horrible, eye-gouging ending). For many years El Diablo Blanco hounded Él que paró for his lackadaisical play and finally when Los Raptors play with their heart on their sleeves they are scolded for their passion. You cannot have it both ways El Diablo Blanco. Back home in Mexico we have an old saying: Either you suck or you don't suck. I must say El Diablo that you suck indeed. Do not kid yourself. Perhaps you will bring your emotion-controlling game on my court and challenge Los Ballers Azul. Los Ballers would first knock you over with our passion and perhaps bloody you nose with our emotion. Then we shall casually make easy lay-ups over your fallen body.
Si, El Diablo Blanco, Los Ballers are challenging you to a game. Bring your friend Bruce Arthur who believes that losing would be better for Los Raptors. Los Ballers will show you how much better losing is. You'll wet your little short pants over how much you'll lose to Los Ballers Azul. Los Raptors play to win! That's why the games are played!
Enough with these pitiful so-called writers, we should be focussing on Los Raptors' next victims: Los Gatos de Bob. As we saw in Los Raptors previous victory over Los Gatos de Bob no one can guard El Magnifico Chris Bosh. That is unless El Tubbo Sean May's ass has grown large enough to obscure the entire backboard and rim. Hey, El Tubbo, the NBA is much harder than the NCAA where your gigantic ass can knock all those little school-boys over. Take your 40% shooting lard-ass back to UNC. The NBA is full of men (and Kwame Brown) not lanky teenagers worrying about their sociology papers.
Los Gatos have a very balanced offence. It another way of saying that all Los Gatos suck equally. Gerald Wallace only scores 13.7 points a game. Senor Mike James scores that many before he wakes up in the morning. Primo Brezec may lead NBA in field-goal percentage but he also leads league in awkward whiteness. His gawky arms will be ripped off by El Carnicera to be used as timeout giveaway by Raptor Dance Pack. I hope they throw them into my section.
Time to go everyone. I promise not be be gone long as Dos has been working many nights on his material for Sunday's game against Los Knicks.
WEEKLY NOTES:
Welcome to The Flagrancy, the new home of The Blue Baller and the masterminds behind RickBrunson.com.
Enjoy your stay. Or leave.