Homer. Mouthpiece. Company Man. These are but a few of the blasphemous names used to describe the voice of the Raptors, Chuck Swirsky. As the team *ahem* struggles this season, it has become fashionable to dismiss the omnipresent Swirsky as a histrionic PR-machine for MLSE; an entertaining character who constantly sells the Raptors, refusing to criticize his collective bosses by criticizing their team.
Now The Swirsk is too proud and professional a man to step down from his pulpit and wade into the swamp to sling mud with these nay-saying Philistines. The Blue Baller is not. So to all of you disbelievers who call yourself Raptor fans, orient yourself South to basketball Mecca and bow down with your godless brothers in Madison Square Gardens—there are 70 unused John Starks throwback jerseys waiting for you!
To say that Chuck Swirsky refuses to criticize the Raptors, misses the real point. The Swirsk does not defend the Raptors blindly, He plays the thankless role of The Angel’s Advocate; a martyr who stimulates righteous debate by taking a fervently optimistic perspective, asking: “But what if things do go exactly right, what then?” There is a difference. The Swirsk absolutely recognizes the basketball sins that are taking place before His eyes, but just stop for a moment and imagine a world where He slips into the Dark Side:
“Well we’re 2 minutes into the first and Araujo has just picked up his 3rd foul. He takes a seat next to a sleeping Jalen Rose, and in comes Charlie V—another player Deadman Walking reached for in the draft. Charlie inbounds the ball to Calderon who is yelling instructions at his teammates, none of whom seem to understand a goddamn word he is saying. Jose drives and kicks the ball out to Joey Graham on the perimeter who looks like he is going to wet his pants at the prospect of dribbling. He wisely passes the ball into the post, and Bosh scores the bucket, cutting the Piston’s lead to 18. Do that while you can Joey, CB4 is CB-Gone next year. Book it.”
Take it from the author of The Tournament of Assholes and the All-Herpes Team, it is much more godly and challenging to be positive than it is to be negative. [Flagrancy Editor’s Note: slanderous and spiteful are perfectly ok, too.]
For you infidels who complain The Swirsk’s commentary is too over the top and distracts from watching a game, may I suggest you turn down the volume. May I also suggest you scratch your eyes out of your heathen heads. If you can not appreciate listing to The Swirsk speak in tongues about the Raptors, you do not deserve audio, or the gift of sight. In sports broadcasting, like religion, nothing great is ever accomplished without enthusiasm. And for the Swirsk, the Raptors cup genuinely spilleth over.
For The Blue Baller, the experience of watching The Game and listening to The Swirsk’s gospel are so intertwined that they can not be separated. When I was but an OT-3 Level Raptor fan, I used to ridicule those followers who would watch the game from the stands while listening to The Word of The Swirsk on Canada 3000 earphones. I recant brothers, I now see you are enlightened!
So the next time one of you pagans hear Leo Rautins griping about not passing the ball into the post, or Jack Armstrong shrugging off another Raptor loss, remember The Passion of The Chuck. In fact, when my balls turn from blue to black, and finally to dust, I want them shot out of a cannon at centre court of the ACC, with Chuck Swirsky blessing the whole event, dedicating the blast to some 13-year old Raptor fan who may be watching in Penetanguishene.
See, true Raptor fans have braved fire and brimstone for this team; watching players quit and refuse to report, GMs squander draft picks and botch trades, Rod Black. But through it all, there has been a single bright light in our collective horizon: The Swirsk. For true believers, He is not the team’s voice, He is the team’s soul.
Booketh.
That's beautiful. Few understand, and even fewer appreciate the Swirsk.
Posted by: Chris | January 02, 2006 at 07:01 PM
That was rich.
I don't know when you are being sarcastic or not. An enjoyable read none the less. I give it 4 unions out of 5. Ringitup
Posted by: Makjul The Fancylad | January 04, 2006 at 01:43 PM
chuck rules!!! And you suck at writing!
Posted by: sdh | January 09, 2006 at 08:26 PM
read more than the first line!!! And thanks for being a fan!
Posted by: The Blue Baller | January 10, 2006 at 01:16 PM
Onions... I mean "O"nions... how embarassing
Errr..yeah.. sometimes Chuck sure does "rule"
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I am very happy to announce this pretty funny quote about cote de pablo nude. "I love to hug - fans, friends and family alike" I wish I could hug jamie foxx naked because this is my biggest dream. But seriously, I like the fact that she likes hugging, however her bodyguards won't let her do that pretty often. People who don't just shake your hand when they're happy to see you, that's the kind of people are very natural, won't lie to you and they are sincere in their desire to hug you...
Most people from country do that and Jess is one of them, so remember that.
One interesting thing I have just recognized about that Jess has a Mercedes Benz SL500. That is a one nice car out there and she can be proud of herself while driving it. I mean I would. This is not a girls' car. In fact, I think that baby should only a man ride. But anyway, I am very happy she has that vehicle in her garage. I hope she will get sometimes a new one. It is just I want to write her a letter to refuse from SL500 and give it to me, but I don't think she can agree somehow.
Today you will see olivia wilde nude and something else that will entertain you a lot. Don't thank me as this is what I get pay for. Plus, knowing that you made a few people a bit happier is kind of great and worth more than just money.
Would you like to read this quote from her? Oh, it is too late, here it goes. "I had doors slammed in my face as a 14-year-old because my boobs were too big."- said irina shayk nude while she was auditioning for curvaceous Christian pop star. This wasn't surprising much as I can imagine what kind of boobs she had while she was only 14. Just look at sarah shahi nude now and you will be amazed for sure. This girl was eating a lot of beans I guess or the fact that she lived not in the city where air is dirty has played its own role and brought its benefits. I believe in those things and there are probably many that kind of girls who have bit tits and live in some village out there and they should understand me saying that.
Of course, many people are jealous to her because of that big breast, but they should know that it was very hard for her to drag those babies when she was younger. In fact I can bet that she still has some problems with her back. It just bends under the weight of her babies and there is nothing to do.
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As you can see this website is full of olivia munn nude pictures and not just that... If you are here, that means you are one of those lucky people that get what they want... This is very simple right here and no explanation is required. You came here to stare at kaley cuoco porn, right? Don't worry, you'll get your chance.
She is 29 years old and I think her attitude to that age is pretty optimistic... For instance, she doesn't think of that number as something really close to 30... Conversely, 29 is only a bit more than 25 so she probably thinks like that. But anyway, she looks much younger and the truth is when you see arielle kebbel nude you start to think she is about 25 or something like that... Her soft skin and shapely legs make her look like a young female athlete. Nobody can be compared with that sexy woman.
Despite the fact that she is blond I wouldn't call her stupid... However, who am I trying to deceive... She is just not very good in thinking let's say that... No offence Jess.
I hope you are aware of that after watching jenna fischer hot there is a part of our review where we should describe the way she thinks and thus we need to review some of her personal quotes... Why is this so important? Because knowing what is going on in her head will give us many thoughts on what kind of person she really is. It is not that important how she looks... In fact, this applies not only to rihanna naked pictures but to all of us... So please meet her first quote. "At school my boobs were bigger than all my friends' and I was hesitate to show them. But now, I feel they make my clothes look better. They're like an accessory." Well, for us, watching gemma arterton hot means first of all checking out her boobs and then other goodies.
I wonder how much her school mates were jealous to her... of course I mean other girls because boys don't have to be jealous about that... All they care is who she dates and when their turn is going to be. I don't think she was popular in her school because most famous celebrities like Angelina Jolie or Lindsay Lohan were pretty shy there and there were some other girls who run the school. But if we compare them right now, I am sure it won't be a big surprise if those "school popular girls" are working as whores or something like that at this present moment... Remember, it is not about being popular in your high school as for your life. School is first of all a place for study and stuff like that... Let someone else be on that position and during that try to make your own path for your life... The study will end anyway, but life goes on and nobody will even remember that dude's or chick's name after graduating...
Speaking about emma roberts nude I totally forgot to say that they are natural and she doesn't have to make one of those stupid plastic surgeries... it is very cool.
And now I want to check some other quote of her... "My bra and underwear always have to match. I like that. I've collected a whole lot of sets. When a girl has on color underpants, she feels sexy." This is something every other man would love to hear... My dirties fantasy was watching trish stratus sex tape standing right in front of me, but now all I want to see her is some pink bikinis... Sometimes it is better to watch some celebrities in their hot bikinis than without them... This is because if we are talking about for example maria ozawa sex then her forms and curvy parts can be better appreciated in some hot bikini... I said pink because I think she fits that color... But red is also a good option.
Unfortunately, as everything in this world this review has to end anyway... Besides I can't see endless post be interesting... I will see you tomorrow with some nice pictures of janice dickinson nude so don't miss them.
Don't be confused about whether you should watch betsy russell nude or not. Why? Because if you do, it will be pretty hard for you to decide and you don't want to be in that kind of situation. Be confident and you'll be alright.
Here I have one quotation by jake gyllenhaal naked that she said recently. "I've had secret lovers...I can keep some things quiet." We have no doubts that some lucky people were tapping her ass from time to time. Too bad we didn't have such things as her sex tapes or at least some rumors about having sex with them.
Watching all those fabulous pictures of drew barrymore sex scene has made me to cum in about a few minutes. I hope you know that before to make this review I was masturbating on all of those photos. This kind of job I have and don't judge me for that. We all have different kind of jobs. Anywho, I was trying to say that after cumming you don't want to see anything that's sexy. And that's why I thought you want to see one trivia about Jess. I was curious how come she can have that gorgeous and athletic body but it turns out that she is a former high school cheerleader. I know she is 29 and that was really long time ago, but that's the kind of fact I thought you should know. This was probably the main cause why Jess has so amazing forms, although she looks pretty curvy. I guess our baby likes to eat.
Oh my, don't be that surprised when you see all these vidya balan breast because they are quite easily to get. I have some of them right here.
I hope you love her as much as I am, but even if that's not how it is, I think this quote won't hurt at all. "Curves are better. I don't get the whole rail thing." That's right, it is better to curvy and sexy than skinny. She is a bit fat but that only gives her extra sexuality. Plus, can you imagine that kind of big boobs on skinny body? I don't think you can.
The other day I have read one comment from my constant reader. He said to me that just giving celebrity nude photos is not enough, although he thanked me for that opportunity to see the best female known women naked. I am very frustrated from that comment but he was right... Therefore I thought it would be nice to place here something else besides those marvelous photos of miranda cosgrove breast. Well, for those of you that think this fellow was right I have to say that she has recently discovered that she is allergic to cheese. That should make you have one thought. Has she ever eaten cheese before? Or maybe she has, but every time after that she felt dizzy and vomit. But I guess the lack of brains in stephanie seymour nude's head has played its role, doesn't it?
Anyway, it is time to say goodbye so see ya'll later pals.
I have quite enough photos of jesse jane porn right here, so don't miss them. You don't want to be one of those looser that can't find a damn pic of her, don't you?
To be honest, I have to admit that despite all those rumors and facts that Jess is stupid blond, I still believe she is not helpless. Here is a quote from her "My bra and underwear always have to match. I love this." Depsite she claims that, I wouldn't believe her on this. She can tell whatever she wants but where are those proves? How come we can check she wears the same color pants and bra?
It is not a secret that people love to know some rumors and trivia about their favorite celebrities. But have you asked yourself why? Anyway, the point is to know something else besides just watching those pics of kate moss naked. That is why I have collected some very solid information and there is a fact regarding her natural hairs color. To be more precise, bipasha basu hot has stated her natural hair color is brown. When I knew that, I was going to puke because I imagined her with that kind of color and she was totally not sexy at all. I am telling you, if you don't believe me then try that by yourself. She looks kind of ugly. That's why I think being a blond (although as we just knew this is not her natural) has made her so popular and desirable. But unfortunately, blonds are stupid which is exactly what she is.
Do you remember my reviews? Of course you do. My writing style is very basic and simple. This is exactly what people need as nobody wants some complex words to read especially if you come to see at bow wow naked that you can find on this website.
I am very happy to announce this pretty funny quote about rosanna arquette nude. "I love to hug - fans, friends and family alike" I wish I could hug shakira desnuda because this is my biggest dream. But seriously, I like the fact that she likes hugging, however her bodyguards won't let her do that pretty often. People who don't just shake your hand when they're happy to see you, that's the kind of people are very natural, won't lie to you and they are sincere in their desire to hug you...
Most people from country do that and Jess is one of them, so remember that.
One interesting thing I have just recognized about that Jess has a Mercedes Benz SL500. That is a one nice car out there and she can be proud of herself while driving it. I mean I would. This is not a girls' car. In fact, I think that baby should only a man ride. But anyway, I am very happy she has that vehicle in her garage. I hope she will get sometimes a new one. It is just I want to write her a letter to refuse from SL500 and give it to me, but I don't think she can agree somehow.
Today you will see kelly brook porn and something else that will entertain you a lot. Don't thank me as this is what I get pay for. Plus, knowing that you made a few people a bit happier is kind of great and worth more than just money.
Would you like to read this quote from her? Oh, it is too late, here it goes. "I had doors slammed in my face as a 14-year-old because my boobs were too big."- said amy jo johnson nude while she was auditioning for curvaceous Christian pop star. This wasn't surprising much as I can imagine what kind of boobs she had while she was only 14. Just look at demi lovato sex now and you will be amazed for sure. This girl was eating a lot of beans I guess or the fact that she lived not in the city where air is dirty has played its own role and brought its benefits. I believe in those things and there are probably many that kind of girls who have bit tits and live in some village out there and they should understand me saying that.
Of course, many people are jealous to her because of that big breast, but they should know that it was very hard for her to drag those babies when she was younger. In fact I can bet that she still has some problems with her back. It just bends under the weight of her babies and there is nothing to do.
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