First up: the Central Division, starring Your Chicago Bulls!
To the casual fan, Chris Duhon appears to be the hardworking, defensive-minded player who typifies the new-look Bulls. A true Raptor fan, on the other hand, has a different view: Chris Duhon is a dirty slut.
In August 2005, after a strong rookie season, Duhon was a restricted free-agent trying desperately to re-sign with the Bulls. While interested in the guard, Chicago took its sweet time as Paxson negotiated with the teams other higher-profile free-agents. Feeling like a neglected prom date, Duhon decided to fan the flames of jealousy by shamelessly shaking his tail in front 40-Year Old Virgin Rob Babcock, who quickly signed the player to a 3-year Offer Sheet. Duhon promptly took the contract back to Paxson, who matched the deal, and re-signed Duhon.
To commemorate how a career 7-point scorer managed to use The Raptors and leave our GM with a swollen set of blue balls, The Flagrancy “offers” a new sheet of paper—now you can treat Chris Duhon’s Offer Sheet with the same respect he did.
And for those of you expecting a Vince Carter tampon dispenser, the Atlantic Conference is up next.