April 2002: Chris Childs forgets score during playoff game
There are certain skills that are simply taken for granted with professional basketball players. Be it the ability to run, to pass, or to properly conceal a firearm—some qualities are just expected to be included in any NBA base model. However, there is one skill which is often overlooked and always underappreciated: the ability to quickly and accurately calculate the difference between two numbers. Glen Grunwald made this fatal mistake when he miscalculated the arithmetic competence of one Chris Childs. The GM chose not to test Childs with flash-cards or multiplication tables when he drafted the gritty point guard, and the team paid a terrible price.
In case you forgot, the Raptors miraculous late season rally of 2002 came to a screeching halt in a Game 5 playoff game against the heavily-favoured Pistons in Detroit. Down 85-82 with seconds left on the clock and possession of the ball, Childs mistakenly thought his team was down by 4 points, instead of 3. He immediately sprinted past half-court and attempted to draw a foul on an off-balance 3-point shot, rather than passing to a wide-open Delly Curry. The Raptors subsequently lost the series, and Grunwald subsequently forgot to sign resign Childs.
So in the spirit of education, The Flagrancy presents a short calculation designed to test your knowledge of both mathematics, and of Chris Childs.
30(a)-25(b)-3(c)-2(d)=0(e)
(a) Thousands of dollars worth of jewelry stolen from Childs outside of a P-Diddy-owned NYC club in 2002
(b) Number of pounds overweight Childs reported to camp in New Jersey, before being waived
(c) Years Childs spent drinking playing with the CBA’s Quad City Thunder
(d) Number of games Childs was suspended for sucker-punching Kobe Bryant
(e) Number of Raptor playoff games since Childs fucked up the score
LOL, would have been worse if we had drafted the looser. This list you're putting together should be forwarded to Stern as THE argument to have the NBA officially recognize long-time Raptor fans. For what is TBD...
Posted by: arsenal | October 25, 2006 at 12:33 PM
one of your best, good work
Posted by: | October 25, 2006 at 10:35 PM
who remembers the look on his face as he watched the ball in the air? i couldnt tell if he was desperate for the ball to go in, or if he had to take a shit. it was something in the way his forehead crinkled. maybe he had to take a shit but didn't wanna embarrass himself, so he pretended to be bad at math. oh, chris.
Posted by: rachello | October 25, 2006 at 11:31 PM
HAHAHA. i remember that game like it was yesterday ... wtf was that about?
Posted by: dorks | May 12, 2007 at 03:32 AM