Hola, me Dos. Me hate Los Knicks. Me hate Los Knicks so much me prepare el blog with insult for each player on Knicks plus bonus insult for coach, management and number one super-fan Spike Lee. Me start now.
Jackie Butler, do not take Dos personally. Me don't even know you. When me see your name on Knick roster, me say "Who?" But you have Knick written on your shirt so me hate you. Have fun playing in Latvia next year. HA HA HA
Malik Rose shoots 35% from field. Can internet funny-man like Dos start talking about Malik Rose line yet? Such as "With that last brick Quentin Richardson dropped below the Malik Rose line."
Maurice Taylor, you are like syphillis. Remember when you turn down $18 million from Raptors? Now all of Toronto thank you for your stupidity. We feel like guy who finds out hot girl who turned him down has syphillis. Except syphillis has cure. You always be stupid. HA HA HA
Penny Hardaway, you luckiest man in world. Isiah Thomas tell you to go away. Many GMs should be offering you lots of money in off-season. If Isiah tell you to go away, you must be awesome! HA HA HA
Me never knew Li'l Penny's real name was Nate Robinson. HA HA HA
Qyntel Woods kind of guy who enjoy watching dogs tear flesh off each other. Me think Qyntel Woods really like game on Sunday when he have front row seat to see El Carnicera rip entrails out of Channing Frye. Then Qyntel Woods wet his little sissy pants when he realize he must go in game. Me think Qyntel Woods should have tried chicken-fighting instead.
Jamal Crawford somehow get 3 assists per game. It must count offensive put-backs on missed shots as assists.
Antonio Davis is veteran of many basketball wars. Like most war veterans he have no hands left. But me still respect man for keep playing with stumps.
Él que paró is hero of Trevor Ariza. Trevor Ariza no like being criticized so he quit too. Also, he is pussy. If Dos coach of Los Knicks me walk up to Trevor Ariza. Me be casual like, "Hola Trevor." Then me poke him right in eye and then me give him arm-bar take-down. But me not old neurotic genius teacher coach so maybe method of Dos do not work. Me not question genius behind 12-21 record.
David Lee is one thing short of being interesting. That one thing? Adding Roth to end of name.
Quentin Richardson used to be fun young guy on Clipper team that sucked. Now he broken down old guy on Knick team that sucks. Moral of story: Quentin Richardson always sucks. Other moral: Knicks suck.
Spike Lee make great movie, Malcolm X, in 1992. Then he buy season tickets to Knick games. Since then: Sucklyn, Summer of Crap, He Got Lame, Crudboozled, She Hate Me. See? Everyone associated with Knicks sucks. Like touch of King Midas except suck not gold. Spike Lee? Me hate he. HA HA HA
Isiah Thomas has great ability. Isiah very good at recognizing talent. Just look at many Isiah draft picks. Unfortunately Isiah cannot recognize his own talent. He think himself good GM. Take advice from Dos. Stick to scouting. Grow pompadour. Become Mel Kiper Jr of NBA.
Jerome James remind me of Magic Johnson -- a fat, out-of-shape millionaire that want to kiss Isiah Thomas every time he see him. HA HA HA
People think Channing Frye greatest thing since invention of burrito. He average 14 points and 6 rebounds per game. Big deal. El Calvo Charlie Villanueva average 13 points and 5 rebounds and he not even start games like big fancy Channing Frye. If El Calvo play in New York, press might choke on own dicks.
Me hear funny joke today...
Q: What look like giant beanbag chair and have cornrows?
A: Eddy Curry
HA HA HA
It funnier in Spanish.
RAAAAAH!!! Me hate Larry Brown. Me have mucho hate. People think he genius. He so good blah blah blah. Oh, genius Larry Brown such good teacher. blah blah blah. If me ever meet genius Larry Brown me would say, "Me teach you many things genius Larry Brown. Me teach you hurt. Me teach you pain. Me teach you how to go to bathroom too." Then me laugh as me remember how my Latino brothers from Puerto Rico and Argentina beat Larry Brown genius dream team in Olympics. HA HA HA. Then me punch genius Larry Brown right in the kidney to make me laugh harder HA HA HA HA HA HA. Then genius Larry Brown cry and look for new job. Me hear there is job available with Washington Generals. That truly genius Larry Brown dream job -- he lose all year-long, always play in different arena, and complain about his players plus Globetrotters always keep bucket around for genius Larry Brown to pee into.
Stephon Marbury best point guard in NBA. Si, and Dos is professor of literature at Harvard. HA HA HA get it? Me no speak English good. Stephon Marbury claim he buy into genius Larry Brown game-plan. He now pass-first point guard. How come assists of Stephon Marbury go down much more this year than points? Is this deep philisophical question to echo through the ages? NO! It because Stephon Marbury still me-first team-killer! Maybe if genius Larry Brown really smart he sit Stephon Me-bury and make him watch Senor Jose Calderon play on Sunday. If Stephon Marbury complain about not playing then genius Larry Brown play dumb and say, "Whoops! Me think you are Steve Francis."
Okay, me hit save.